Introduction

 

Welcome to Square Go – the fight for Paisley’s best roll and sausage. As part of my digital marketing communications module, I have been tasked with writing a blog about something that not only I am passionate about, but something I believe the Scottish population are equally passionate about. Instinctively, one of the first ideas that came to mind was one of Scotland’s finest food offerings – the square sausage. The square sausage, otherwise referred to as the Lorne sausage, or if you’re fond of sheep, a “slice”, is nothing short of iconic. Great mystery surrounds the square sausage in terms of when it was invented, who created such a beautiful delicacy and what nutritional benefit (if any?) it provides. Nevertheless it remains a staple part of any good Scottish breakfast, and undoubtedly saves many Scots from the brink of death most Sundays. Nothing screams “you’re a loser”, quite like a greasy roll and sausage, circa 2pm, still lying in your bed. However, when that crispy roll and meaty centre hits the palette, those thoughts quickly diminish (well, for most people).

Fighting the whitey? Roll and sausage. Jakey shakes? Roll and sausage. The overwhelming feeling that everyone and everything hates you because of the previous night’s showing? Roll and sausage. Despite this somewhat miraculous curing ability, it does not fully encapsulate the square sausage’s capabilities. It does not just serve as a cure for your self-loathing hangover, but also as a great source of fuel to start your day. From having 2 years’ experience working in labour intensive jobs throughout summer, I have garnered a certified taste for a grade A roll and sausage. The morning tea break is a fundamental part of any tradesman’s daily routine, with the building site being a distant thought until you have been charged by your 30% meat content roll. Subsequently, I will be reviewing Paisley’s best roll and sausage for these two fairly opposing market segments - the tradesmen in need of their morning fuel to keep this nation churning, and for all the losers still lying in bed that are promising to never touch a drink again. So, welcome to the most ridiculously over-analytical review of Scotland’s best invention since the telephone – Square go.