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Introduction

  Welcome to Square Go – the fight for Paisley’s best roll and sausage. As part of my digital marketing communications module, I have been tasked with writing a blog about something that not only I am passionate about, but something I believe the Scottish population are equally passionate about. Instinctively, one of the first ideas that came to mind was one of Scotland’s finest food offerings – the square sausage. The square sausage, otherwise referred to as the Lorne sausage, or if you’re fond of sheep, a “slice”, is nothing short of iconic. Great mystery surrounds the square sausage in terms of when it was invented, who created such a beautiful delicacy and what nutritional benefit (if any?) it provides. Nevertheless it remains a staple part of any good Scottish breakfast, and undoubtedly saves many Scots from the brink of death most Sundays. Nothing screams “you’re a loser”, quite like a greasy roll and sausage, circa 2pm, still lying in your bed. However, when that crispy roll...
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Mah Café

The next contender fighting for top spot is Mah Café, located on Moss Street. Mah Café is another relatively new establishment to enter the scene in Paisley and seems to be run solo by owner Majid. With this information I think it’s relatively safe to assume that Majid’s “Mah” brand has been based off two things. The first few letters of his name, and the Scottish slang version of the word “my”, indicating that it is indeed solely his café. Not your café, Mah café. Majid’s Persian heritage has evidently not prevented him from assimilating with Paisley’s local culture, and this genius branding confirms this.

The shop itself is welcoming and traditional, with a combination of Scottish and Persian décor. This is fitting for the menu that takes Scottish classics and puts a Persian twist on them. Mah café offers breakfast, lunch, and dinner items ranging from rolls, omelettes and pancakes all the way to kebabs, burgers, and pizzas. However, we’re here for one thing and one thing only. Rolls and sausage. Yes, rolls and sausage (plural), as you essentially get two rolls per portion.

As a result of this gargantuan portion size, you pay a slightly higher price of £3 for it. Well, £3 is what the menu said, but I only paid £2.55. I’m not sure if this price of £2.55 was a special price for global roll and sausage influencers, or if it was a genuine mistake. We’ll never know for sure, but it was likely the former. My first visit to Mah café resulted in a lengthy 25-minute wait for my food. As a result of this I would have recommended it to all tradesmen on day rate, as not only does the roll have a healthy number of calories to fuel your day’s graft, but you wouldn’t get to the building site until lunch time. However, I suspected this wait time was largely a consequence of the huge “Mah breakfast” that my brother had ordered, which was freshly cooked for him. So purely for science purposes and the fact that it’s bulking season, I returned on my own to test this wait time. As suspected, I waited no longer than 5 minutes for my roll and my hypothesis was confirmed. 


Packaging wise, the roll, or should I say rolls, come in a hard-shelled white box. This is very functional for takeaway as it ensures your roll doesn’t get squished, especially if you are carrying multiple items. However it does lose some of that essential aesthetic appeal of a grease-dripping bag. Finally, regarding taste, the sausage is not your typical square sausage. It has the same shape and texture as a square sausage, although is almost more comparable to a spicy hamburger. This Persian twist makes Mah café’s roll and sausage perfectly viable as both a breakfast or lunch option, or if you’ve truly fucked it the night before: dinner.

 Packaging: 4/5

Taste of square sausage: 3/5

Type, size, and freshness of roll: 4/5

Price of roll: 3/5

Service time: 4/5

Overall score: 18/25


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